Blog Every Day in May: Missing

Day 12: What do you miss? (a person, a thing, a place, a time of your life…)

Oh, that’s a softball question. I have two answers.

I miss my father. He died when my life was a lot less awesome than it is now, and I wish I’d gotten to spend more time with him as an adult. I miss my grandmothers, too, although both of them would be well over 100 if they were still alive. I think they were a bit worried about my prospects when they died, and I wish they could know that I turned out basically OK.

I can combine the last three into one answer – Amherst College. College was really the last time I felt like I was on top of my game, maximizing my full potential. It was easy for me – I was surrounded by other smart, eccentric, Type-A kids. I fit in. That really hasn’t happened since. I don’t consider college to be my “glory days” by any stretch – but it was one of the few times in my life I’ve felt comfortable in a group, despite the fact that I was a conservative in a very liberal environment.

The sixteen months after college threw me off-balance, off track. I got a job, got married, moved to Alabama, my father died, and I had a baby. And then I lost track of myself for five years. It wasn’t until late 2007 that I began to be myself again, and it’s a process I’m not sure I’ve completed.

Lest you think I’m all mopey for the remote past, I only miss Amherst because I’m not there now. I have a great life, which I don’t pine for because I’m busy living it. I am excited for the future, happy with the direction in which I am headed with Jason, and can’t wait to see what tomorrow brings (unless it’s more emergency plumbing services, which I am OVER).


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