Blog Every Day in May: Most Embarrassing Moment

Day 10 – your most embarrassing moment(s). Spill.

Most of the time, I feel like my entire life is one long embarrassing moment.

I think I’d like to nominate “Middle School” as one long, continual embarrassing experience.

There have been countless smaller moments. A couple of examples:

When I was pregnant with Tyler, I was messing around with the paper vest/sheet combo when my OB walked in the room. The vest was on my head. He asked how I felt, and I replied, “like a nun. A naked nun.”

Or the time my friend came back from a date, and her roommates asked her what she’d been up to, and I exclaimed, “She (bleeped) him until he was BLIND!” and then listened to the horrified silence as I remembered that the boy was, in fact, already blind.

Getting divorced was embarrassing, in a deep, nothing-funny-about-it way. It was another continual embarrassment, but thankfully briefer than middle school.

Oh! Freshman year of college. I had two roommates, one of whom had a birthday right after school started. The other roommate and I put together a surprise party. It was my job to alert to hidden party guests that we were on our way back from dinner. How did I do it? I let loose a gen-u-ine redneck swine call, which boomed out over the freshman quad of my Northeastern liberal arts college.

Senior year of college! I was watching “Rocky” in the college theater with a few friends. Stallone was introducing his girlfriend to his turtles, and said, “That’s cuff. The other one’s links. The rest are just rocks.” My friend sitting next to me started giggling, and then I started giggling, and then we couldn’t stop. We had to leave the theater, tears streaming down my face, to compose ourselves.

Anyway. I think that’s about enough for now.




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