Blog Every Day in May, Day 8

Day 8: A piece of advice you have for others. Anything at all.


Wait. No.

My advice would be this: “Waiting for what you THINK will make you happy, instead of enjoying what DOES make you happy, will almost guarantee that you’ll end up with neither.”

I originally wrote this to a friend who was struggling because she kept forcing herself to go to social activities that she was “supposed” to enjoy.

An example: I love to cook. When I had Tyler, I imagined spending hours with him in the kitchen, teaching him to perfectly roast a chicken and whip up a caramel-colored roux. He would be my tiny sous chef. The reality is that cooking with a child is frustrating and stressful. They lose interest, they struggle to read recipes, and they make a huge mess. I had to come to grips with the fact that cooking with my child did not make me happy. And then I had to stop doing it. Tyler is just now starting to be useful in the kitchen, but cooking with children is still not enjoyable the way I envisioned.

I THOUGHT that cooking with Tyler would make me happy, and kept frustrating myself by trying to cook with him – thereby missing what DID make me happy, that is, cooking by myself.

Bottom line: Life doesn’t go as planned. Circumstances change. YOU change. The thing you’ve “always” wanted to do may blow up in your face. By the same token, something you’d “never do in a million years” may end up being the best experience of your life. It’s wise to take your eyes OFF the prize every once in a while to make sure you’re being honest about the process of attaining it.


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